How to use they/them pronouns for someone
Here's a quick visual that show the categories of each type of pronoun and how/when to use which pronoun
Other examples of ways we might use they/them pronouns in professional and academic environments include:They wrote this fantastic carrd resource on pronoun usage that you should check out
Their email signature includes the pronouns that they use
If you have any further questions about how they want to be referred to, you should ask them about it!
I wonder what else I can do to help them feel more included
Perhaps I should ask how I can help them advocate for themself!
This carrd was made by Jule Kilgore-Reed (Occidental College C/O 2025) in July 2022. Please email any questions, comments, or concerns to them using the mail icon. Thanks!
Why do we use pronouns?
We typically have pronouns that we prefer to be referred to by, just as we typically have names we go by. There is no concrete relationship between a person's name or pronouns and their gender/other identities. Because they are a part of language frequently used to refer to people, names and pronouns tend to be shared publicly. However, identities are typically kept private (many people don't actively disclose their gender with simple acquaintances, just as many people don't actively share their race, class, or sexual orientation).
This carrd was made by Jule Kilgore-Reed (Occidental College C/O 2025) in July 2022. Please email any questions, comments, or concerns to them using the mail icon. Thanks!
Misgendering
Using the wrong pronoun or gendered label to refer to someone is known as misgendering. It typically occurs as a result of assuming one's gender identity and/or pronouns rather than asking. Intentional misgendering is psychological mistreatment, disrespectful, and hurtful, especially to transgender folks. Respecting someone's pronouns and name has been shown to improve mental wellness.
This carrd was made by Jule Kilgore-Reed (Occidental College C/O 2025) in July 2022. Please email any questions, comments, or concerns to them using the mail icon. Thanks!
Singular They
It's not unusual to use the pronouns "they," "them," or "their" for a single person. There is a plenty of historical writing that demonstrates authors and speakers referring to someone of neutral or unidentified gender with the singular pronoun "they." Large corpora of literature on the internet and in other places also support the use of the singular pronoun "they" as being grammatically correct.
This carrd was made by Jule Kilgore-Reed (Occidental College C/O 2025) in July 2022. Please email any questions, comments, or concerns to them using the mail icon. Thanks!